By Renata Isa

Holding her parents' gifts, senior Kaley Franklin looks forward to celebrating two Christmases. Photo by Briana Sanchez

Senior Kaley Franklin’s eyes pop open.  It’s Christmas morning. She wiggles on her slippers and rushes downstairs.

It’s going to be a long day, opening one present after another, scarfing down the delicious holiday meals and making conversation with relatives she hasn’t seen in awhile.

Now imagine doing this all over again, on the same day.

According to Divorcerate.org, this is what its like for Franklin and another 43 percent of American families in
the U.S. Franklin’s parents divorced when she was in first grade, but she sees the silver lining in the situation.

“I’ve never really had a holiday where my family was together,” Franklin said. “I think it’s better having a Christmas with each of my parent’s families because I have more than one family that wants to spend time with me over the holidays.”

Franklin sees the situation as a benefit.

“The traditions are never really the same, but it’s different and I like it; I get twice the gifts and twice the fun,” Franklin said.

History teacher, John Houze, who is divorced, sees the benefits of separate Christmases as well.

“[We deal with] the same tensions that arise within a traditional family,” Houze said. “However, in many cases they can be less since the absence after of a particular individual may make life easier, happier and less tense.”

Throughout the predicaments that may arise, Houze believes that his kids shouldn’t be stressed to choose where they spend their holidays.

“They get a chance to do what they want and not get pressured by either family as to where they should be or who they should stay with,” Houze said. “My ex and I have a very good relationship so we discuss what makes the most sense for the children and do that. Regardless of our divorce, our children are still the most important people in both of our lives.”

Especially during Christmas, Houze realizes that scheduling time with his children is challenging.

“I can never spend too much time with them, and so I relish the time I do,” Houze said. “There are times when you can’t do all that you want with the ones you want, but that’s life.”

Scheduling time may be hard, but the effect on the child is hard, as well. Though Franklin’s parents separated when she was young, she has learned to make the best of it.

“My parents divorced when I was seven,” Franklin said “I’ve grown from it and learned to make my own choices and carry on more of my responsibilities.”

Franklin says she has matured because of the divorce and encourages kids who are currently going through their parents’ divorce to look forward to the brighter side.

“You need to take the good things out of it. Your parents separated for a reason and you just have to look forward to the benefits of the situation; everything happens for a reason,” Franklin said.

Houze agrees that parents separate for a reason, and believes that kids should never blame themselves.
“Whatever your parents are going through is not about you, so don’t take responsibility for what they’re going through; you cannot resolve the issues they are dealing with, so don’t try,” Houze said. “What they have to resolve is between them without your intervention. Your mother and father will always be your mother and father and that will never change.  They will continue to love you to their best of their abilities.”

Houze suggests that kids dealing with divorce talk to someone about the changes in their lives.

“What you’re going through is not easy and you must feel comfortable talking about it to someone – a friend, a sibling or someone else that you feel safe talking to. You don’t have to go through the process alone. Having someone to share it with will make you feel better.”